QUESTION…Do You like Butterflies?


What must a caterpillar endure to become a butterfly? 

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The caterpillar’s destiny is to survive for the renewing, preparation, and transformation through the metamorphosis stages by reaching the safety of the cocoon. The purpose of the process is to receive a reward for the struggle by becoming the beautiful new butterfly creature God intended it to be.


Hello, my name is Mary/Pumpkin; I am one person who has two different personalities and who suffers with a dual diagnosis (co-occurring disorders) of depression and addiction. I happen to be suicidal, yet that is not my story.


I am a survivor who lives every day with hope. No, life is not always easy and every day is a challenge, but I have learned to become an advocate for change.

Society misuses and misunderstands the word addict and needs to understand that everyone has some form of addiction.

It is easy for society to look down on the person suffering with drugs and alcohol, but what about the closet addict who lives every day with an addiction and the world does not see or want to believe they have a problem?

I, Mary/Pumpkin, had to learn to examine myself. I had to learn and accept what were the root causes to my addictive, mental, and suicidal behavior.

Once I became a consumer of mental health and received the correct treatment from psychiatric in-patient and outpatient wards along with education from drug rehabilitation programs, my life began to change.

I began to accept my bottom and from there I gained knowledge and took the necessary steps needed to begin my recovery. I learned through recovery how everyone’s bottom is not the same and how people with co-occurring disorders battle secret pains and have a story to share.

Most stories shared are the feelings of lost hope, guilt, trauma, low self-esteem, and self-worth, all mixed together with the shame and stigma that keeps many enslaved from reaching out for help—this is better known as pride.

The sad part of being an addict was that until I admitted to my addiction and depression, my life had become unmanageable and my process of recovery could not begin.

Once I became true to myself, I accepted the hand of mercy that reached down to save me and I accepted the hand of grace that gave me hope and courage to share my memoirs.

Memoirs of An Addict: Fact or Fiction is an extraordinary combined book and workbook that will not save the world, just enlighten and give hope that only a Higher Power can save and give any person the necessary tools to defeat addiction, depression, and thoughts of death.

For those who have been blessed and are what the world calls normal, I’d like to ask you a question: Can an addict ever be free? Can a person with mental health disorders live a normal life? Or could the answer possibly be in harm reduction?

See, I—Mary/Pumpkin—am a survivor of mental health, drug abuse, and life of suicidal behavior.

For anyone who has walked in my shoes and for those who have not, Memoirs of An Addict: Fact or Fiction will give you clarity to why I am no longer among the walking dead.